selfs worse critic: please give me advice and be 100% truthful with me.

for years I've battled with my weight and the only time I've been able to lose weight is then I stopped eating (not like becoming anorexic) but here lately I've felt sexy amd also fat and ugly at the same time. I would absolutely love some feedback. even though my posts almost never get alot of attention, it'll really be beneficial to hear other people's views on how I look. negative and positive. thank you for those who do take the time to read this and give me your input, i really appreciate it. (I'm not sure where to post this so I'm sorry if I put in the wrong category)