I’ve feel really unsure about my relationship literally since we first started dating. My boyfriend has a very strong personality, constantly talking, kind of a know it all, but very personable. I’m the complete opposite. When we first started dating he got upset at everything and thought everyone was out to get him. Horrible road rage, hated his coworkers and friends, etc. It’s been almost 3 years and he’s gotten a lot better, but is still fairly negative. Anytime I confront him on it, he agrees, but points out that he’s doing better because of me (which is true).

He’s also kind of selfish, but doesn’t mean to be. If someone’s talking, he kind of overrides them and talks about himself (his mom is the EXACT same way).

I get anxious around him sometimes because I’m always worried something is going to annoy him; a crowd, long wait at a restaurant, long lines, traffic, bad internet connection, phone lagging. He’s super impatient and I always feel kind of worried what’s going to upset him next. My dad has really bad anger issues and used to cuss and throw things at me when I was younger so I get scared when I’m with him and he’s mad. He’s never hurt me or even come close to it, so he gets kind of hurt when I tell him that.

Another thing is that our relationship isn’t romantic at all. I find myself comparing us to my high school relationship and I hate myself for it. I had a boyfriend for 4 years throughout high school and we would kiss, hug, makeout. We’d send long essays on how much we miss each other, and celebrate our anniversary date literally every month. I’m 22 now and I just figure that maybe once you get older relationships aren’t like that, but I wish we kissed or hugged more. And whenever I tell him that he just says “then hug me” or something. But when we first started dating he used to pull away when I tried, so I still get worried now. He does it as a joke, but it makes me insecure.

I hate that whenever we have sex it never really leads up to it (like kissing and getting heated). It’s just kind of like “want to have sex?” “Sure” “okay” and then straight to oral. I miss like making out and grinding, but our relationship has never been like that.

Past all of these negatives, I really do love him. We have the same sense of humor, get along with each other’s families, we talk for hours on the phone, see each other every weekend (we live an hour away). I don’t want to break up, but I just don’t know if he’s the guy I want to marry and I don’t waste his time. I just want to know if these things are normal and if you have any of the same issues and are able to look past them.