As the past 6 months have gone by, I find myself in the same routine...

Period ends.

Baby dancing.

Checking my temp here and there.

OPK time.

Yay! A POSITIVE!

Baby dance, baby dance, baby dance!

Wait and pray.

Wait and pray.

Losing hope.

And wait and pray...

In the middle of my TWW I'm researching, worrying there may be something wrong with me that's preventing me to conceive, or even watching birth stories, just obsessing!...

Then AF decides to show her ugly face once again.

I'm completely heart broken. I lose faith. Then I come to realization I'm not pregnant and that I just need to think positive that next month it will be my month! Who am I kidding?! No it won't...

It's a repetitive cycle...

Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I just enjoy this time and have faith that it'll happen when it's suppose to, like I try to tell myself everyday?

One day.

For the women out there trying to conceive, I wish you nothing but the best! For the women (like my mom when she was my age) that got pregnant right away, God Bless you! TTC journeys are roller coaster rides, but at the end whether we have a miracle that's natural, surrogate, adoption or any other option out there, that baby is what is going to make this painful process all worth it.