Just deciding to write this is a lot for me, but since middle school, my emotions have taken a turn for the worse and I’ve found myself slowly getting more and more depressed. The summer of going to 6th grade, I recently told my friends in a group chat that I’m bisexual. Privacy really isn’t a thing in my household, so when my parents found out by reading the messages before I could delete them - they beat me. They hit for a while until my mother decided it was too much. My parents treated me differently after that, worse, and I eventually resorted to cutting my wrists. And when they found out, I got a beating for that as well. Since then my father has only gotten angrier, letting me know that he doesn’t think I’ll be as successful as my brother will - and I’ve lost all motivation to do anything. I can’t go out with my friends, I sit home with my family and I hate every second of it. My lack of motivation has led to my grades dropping, and the summer of going to 10th grade (2017) I’ve planned to kill myself. I let my grades drop and allowed myself to distance myself from my friends. I didn’t care about how my grades looked because I was sure that I was going to die, anyways. A friend of mine convinced me to get help once the break is over from someone at my school since my parents won’t provide- but I don’t know how to go about that? I’m terrified. I feel pathetic for even letting myself feel this low, and as much as I’d like to talk to someone, my parents would only make it harder for me. I don’t know exactly who to speak to at my school, how to bring up the fact that I’m suffering without my parents getting angry with me. I’m so sorry this is so long, and I’m so sorry if there’s any typos.