It’s been on my mind a lot lately. I’m 20 and I’m in college. I fell head over heels for a guy and he broke my heart so I got reckless. Lost my virginity to and became fwb with a stranger, almost got kidnapped, hooked up with a high school crush and became good friends with said guy who broke my heart. Such reckless behavior, I don’t know how I’m still here and okay. Anyways, I’ve wanted to change. The casual hookups were always awkward and not really my thing. I crave romance and intimacy.

Been on dating apps for a few weeks now and no matter what, the conversations always get sexual. It doesn’t matter if I say something sexual (which happens sometimes cuz I’m a hyper sexual person) or not (which I try my best to not so that guys don’t get the wrong idea).

My best friend got tinder last night and her phone was blowing up with messages and guys showing interest in her as a person rather than sexually.

It’s kind of frustrating and it gets me down a lot. I’ve just felt lately that I’m either friend material or fuck material and no in between. It’s made me very pessimistic about guys. Makes me feel like they don’t have feelings.

What do you all think? Am I unfit for relationships? Do you have any advice for me? I’m at a loss here and it’s kinda depressing