It’s all too much

I’ve been dealing with a lot lately. My grandmother was hospitalized in November and I had spent every night with her in the hospital. She died December 6th.

The other day my aunt died of a rare cancer. She was married to my uncle who committed suicide in 2011.

There’s just been so much loss in my life. My uncles death had a deep effect on me because I also deal with suicidal thoughts. I wish I could’ve taken his pain away instead of him.

My grandmother is gone. We were very close and lived next door to each other. I love her so much and I miss her a lot. I feel like I haven’t even gotten to process her death.

My aunt was the sweetest person in the world. She was divorced from my uncle before he died but I have so many amazing memories with both of them. She had synovial sarcoma, which is very rare. She didn’t deserve to be in pain. Her funeral is on Monday and I just know it’s going to be so sad. I dont know if I can handle it

There’s just so much going on in my head right now and I’m beyond overwhelmed. I wish I had someone to be supportive of me other than family. But I feel like I have no one. I love my family but I just wish there was someone I loved outside of the situation to give comfort. Which I guess is why I’m writing this right now.