Well, here I am 8 weeks 3 days pregnant with 2 good ultrasounds showing heartbeat and growing baby, yet I'm plagued by insomnia. I've past the milestones where I lost all my previous miscarriages, I'm feeling pretty good. yet I can't shake that feeling that I know I'm not out of the woods yet feeling. you see my first son passed at 36 weeks, cord knot accident, totally random. I had almost every single type of miscarriage possible including blighted ovam and missed miscarriage. So now I'm laying in bed at 3 am thinking am I cursed? Will this baby make it? these next few months may be the most stressful thing I've ever done. and I wonder if I can handle it. I also reflect on the basic fact that I am alive. I have survived so much in my life I should be able to do anything, so why do I feel so weak?