I hate this feeling of being bitter towards bfps and beautiful bellies. The truth is I’m bitter towards myself. My wife and I (same sex couple) have been trying for 1 year and 8 months for #2. We conceived our son through the same process and he’ll be 4 this year. He keeps asking for a sibling and yet every month I spend more and more money on hpts for them to be negative. My wife and I want it so bad every fucking cycle we both see faints. So I can’t trust her eyes and she can’t trust mine. Every cycle there’s more and more money being poured out and nothing to gain. I’ve been to the doctor and they refuse to refer me to a fertility specialist. No hsg or even an ultrasound to check. I’m bitter because every cycle I sit and think, this is the cycle just in the end to cry and hate the whole process. Here I am now 11 dpo and keep thinking I’m seeing faints. I hate this so much. I’m cramping also. Maybe af is coming and it’s normal but just because I tried this cycle everything is a possible fucking sign. I’m sorry ladies . I just needed to vent. The pics I provided are the faints I keep thinking I’m seeing. Always please excuse the grammatical errors. Thanks for reading.I post anonymously because I am ashamed.