Difference between childhood experimentation and abuse? (possible trigger warning)

Question

I read a news story today that said there is a rising number of 'child on child' sexual assault cases in Australia. The story claimed the most common causes for a child to commit these kinds of crimes can be anything from witnessing sexual violence themselves, being a victim and reenacting abuse, and having sociopathic tendencies. So this got me questioning where the line is between normal experimentation and actual abuse. As I'm sure most of us as children encountered some kind of sexual experimentation between ourselves and similarly aged friends. Whether it was showing each other our privates etc... I think we can all agree that a child coercing or forcing another child to do something would be wrong and could be considered abuse, but what if both children willingly decided to engage in the sexual experimentation? One of the stories I read about this topic did not seem out of the ordinary at all (two boys the same age, around 6 I think, both willing participants) however the boy who suggested it was blamed by the other boys mother and she believed her son had been molested. What do you think?

Answer

A lot of things are normal child experimenting scenarios that many people find upsetting & unsettling but they cant deny science. The most you can do is make sure they arent abused at home. I was a very curious child my first kiss was at 6 or so (that i remember) & i started masturbating & watching porn at 7. In 4th grade a friend & myself would masturbate in the bathroom everyday at lunch laying next to eachother but never touching eachother.

Answer

I work in this field and I honestly still don’t have an answer to this. Some things are clear (forced, power differences, large age gaps, etc) but some are definitely less clear. At times it seems to depend on how the adults around react. I find some families believe any sexual conduct at all is wrong, while others are open to exploration (masturbation, young children playing ‘doctor’). Context is very important.

Answer

http://hopehealgrow.org/children-with-sexual-behavior-problems-what-is-normal-and-what-is-not/
For children aged 2-6, things such as showing genitals to children around the same age/looking at children the same age are normal, along with trying to look at others naked. But inserting objects, asking others to engage in sexual acts, frequently being sexual to the point it’s distracting to others is not normal.

Answer

As a child I never experienced any kind of “sexual experimentation” or had a desire for such. I don’t believe it’s normal but instead the result of children being exposed to sexual themes when they are too young. 
Perhaps a child exploring their own body could be considered normal but having another child involved is not imo.

Answer

A child playing with themselves -normal
A child initiating in sexual games-not normal

Answer

Exploring your anatomy as a child is normal and is beneficial to the child. After all, no one knows your body like you do and you don't want a child growing up ignorant to their own form, much less be ashamed of it. However, there is a line. Parents need to teach that some anatomy we keep to ourselves (in private) and kids shouldn't let anyone see/touch those areas regardless of age. Frankly it's disturbing to me that kids even "experiment" with each other and to me it seems to reflect the resistance many parents have with informing thier kids about sexuality/anatomy. Maybe I'm bias. My mother educated me around 5-6 and I started teaching my son at 4 the only person allowed to touch him in those places was is caregivers (for changings, etc).

Answer

Self exploration at any age is normal. To the point of obsession or compulsion it is not. Curiosity about appearances for young children is normal. By young I mean toddlers-6, maybe 7. Touching or engaging in sexual exploration with another child simply isn’t typical. It should have been discussed at potty training and when the child is school age. We teach our children autonomy, and good/bad touch at that point. If a child or set of children are displayed sexualized behavior it should be addressed without emotion, and evaluated by a professional. It’s not normal.

Answer

I read that up to age 6, children feel curious about their bodies and bodies of the opposite sex, but the children although may be curious they may touch other children innocently, but not in a sexual way, there is a difference and that children eventually grow out of it.  if they however are touching others in sexual ways or using sexual language its usually a sign of a child that has been a witness or a victim of sexual abuse.

Answer

When I was under the age of 8 my female cousin and i “practiced” kissing in the lips.  I was a year older then her.  I don’t consider it abuse.  She doesn’t either, we laugh about it now.  We joke that I’m the reason she’s gay now lol.

Answer

I've had this happen. My older brother sexually abused me when I was younger but my parents always refer to it as just experimenting. I know it wasn't. I hate my brother and won't let him around my own child. He also later went threw my laundry as I was a teenager and took my underwear. My parents don't listen and write it off because he has a learning disability but it's shit.

Difference between childhood experimentation and abuse? (possible trigger warning)

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