11DPO- want to test but don’t want to

I’m 11DPO and I’ve been having some symptoms, I want to test and I should do it buuuuut I’m terrified to. I really don’t want to test and see a BFN, husband and i have been TTC for over a year now with fail. I haven’t had to test since last February and it killed me ever BFN I got.. should I or should I wait?