I met this guy in October and at the time he was seeing this other girl. We started becoming good friends and built a solid emotional support system with each other. By the beginning of November he and the other girl called things off because he just didn’t see it going anywhere and he realized he wasn’t totally over his ex.

About a month later I realized I was developing feelings for him and could tell that he was flirting with me and to this point he was the best thing that had ever happened to me. He understood me like no one else had before, he’s funny and not afraid to show emotion. We have a lot in common and it kinda seemed like a match made in heaven.

Fast forward to 6 days ago: We met up and he said ‘we need to talk’ and proceeded to tell me that he has feelings for me and that they ‘keep growing every day’. I was over the moon. He also said that he has some things to figure out before we start a relationship and should remain friends for now, I agreed and we carried on with our respective days.

Over the weekend he got quiet and a little more distant, usually we banter over text and call each other periodically, we send each other songs that we think the other will like, fun stuff like that.

I saw him yesterday and he told me he’s run into his ex over the weekend and realized that he’s not over her even though she’s completely done with the relationship and followed this by telling me he’s just not emotionally ready to start a new relationship. This hurt but I can respect it, he’s a very caring guy and his feelings are his own, I can’t ask him to change them for me.

The thing is I’ve seen him around a lot lately with this other chick, alone as well as in groups. He says not to worry about her, she went through a similar breakup to the one he had gone through and was just talking her through it, which he does with a lot of people. But lately he’s been blowing me off, saying he doesn’t want to talk, cancelling plans, and later hanging out with her. And yeah she might be able to relate to him in a way that I can’t but it still hurts and even though he’s not mine I feel like crying and I want to slap this girl hard across the face.

At this point I don’t think he has feelings for her, but this is exactly how e and I started out. I understood some stuff in his life better than other people and then we got closer and became a thing, so I’m worried that it’ll happen again. I’m so scared of losing him, he knows things about me I’ve never trusted anyone else with and his hugs make me feel safe and looking in his eyes makes me feel cared for.

Do you ladies have any words of wisdom/advice/encouragement?