So here it goes my birth story! So the contractions started on the 21st December Thursday morning at 6am very mild just like period pains barley anything and I lost my mucus plug and started bleeding a bit (hadn't had so much as a spec before the contractions started) And then it all stopped at around midday so I went into town with my mum and sister to walk around try get things going again! Didn't work so I came home and napped from 4:30pm-7pm then when I woke up at 7pm the contractions started again this time stronger and more frequent so every 7 mins then it carried on! My partner went to bed and I sat up watching tv and crying ahahaha until about 2 in the morning! I ended up on the phone to a midwife asking if I could come in yet and then woke up my partner. We went into the hospital which is only a 10 minute drive away thank god and I got checked. I got told I was 3cm dilated but needed to be 4/5 to get admitted so got sent home! Any way ONLT TWO HOURS later and it was HELL like I had decided fuck the pool (was dead set on birthing pool and maybe gas and air) I need an epidural asap I had had enough of the pain so we went back and this REALLY annoying midwife hooked me up to a machine to check the babies heartbeat and she was like "oh we do like pain pain is good here" and by this point I looked like an absolute misery and was thinking f*** you your not helping and she was like "why don't we still try the pool even for half an hour" and I was like no! I need an epidural (by this point every contraction I had was all ready at the end of my tether and so hard to cope with) that I ended up throwing up for the first time so bad!! And she left me there hooked up for what felt like foreverrrrr!! I couldn't believe it I then was sick again from the pain and

Then I pushed the button for help because I was like I just need the epidural!! A different midwife came who ended up being my midwife for birth and she was amazing!! And she took me to birthing room in a wheelchair straight away! and then she checked me and I was at 6cm with nothing no medication not even paracetamol!!! And I was DYING so she got the woman to do the epidural asap but she had to insert a cannula first which was horrible and I was sick again all over myself -.- and my partners hand because he didn't get the bowl to me in time 🙄 and then I had the epi put in which was horrid felt like an electric shock/nerve pain in my spine when she rocked it side to side to get it in the right place! 😩 it started to work slowly and I could still move my legs etc and eventually it got stronger and took away all pain!! And then when the midwifes came back to check me my partner was like she's a new woman!! Ahahaha and we all laughed cus I could finally talk and look at people 😂 also had to have catheter put in to wee which felt so weird could feel the pee coming out like I was wetting myself! And then I just was waiting for a while til they said I was 10cm fully dilated and that we should wait an hour for his head to get closer and then start pushing so eventually she came back and we started pushing and I DIDNT POO MYSELF 👌👌👌👌 but I did fart once ahahaha and then I was pushing and could feel his head it was so weird like a pressure but not pain and then pushing made me throw up more!!! It was horrible and then after half an hour another doctor came in cus they were worried about his heart beat

And they got another doctor and decided they would need to use the suction to put on his head to pull him out!! So they also decided I needed the cut (Episiotomy) 😩😩😩 so they had to put lots of injections in before hand to numb more before making the cut and then they got me to push whilst they pulled him out which felt HORRIBLE like I could feel his shoulders coming out of my pelvic bones 🤢 and then he slid out! He was born at 2:27pm on Friday 22nd December. And then other half cut the cord and they put him on me and he felt so heavy! And I didn't feel that instant love everyone ses! because I had gone through too much pain and was so tired I was pretty out of it and then they took him and my partner watched over him whilst they gave me ANOTHER two injections in my arm to pass the placenta and then they pulled it and I felt it slide out!! And then the male doctor started stitching me and apparently he's amazing! One of the best BUT it took forever like 40 mins! Cus I had a bleed on a bit of muscle that he couldn't get under control and it took ages and they were worried cus I was loosing so much blood my partner saw and said it was like a tap of blood! and I started to throw up more cus of blood loss and the medication and the CONSTANT TUGGING HE WAS DOING 🤢🤢🤢🤢 and then he finally finished and I wanted to finally relax but kept being sick continuously so they had to give me anti sickness twice in my IV and then it finally stopped and all I remember was my partner standing there in front of me and he teared up and just said thankyou so much and I wanted to cry because it was so cute but passed out and when I woke up they had got me in wheel chair and was pushing me to recovery where all other mums and babies were and then we started to have visitors both our mum's came but I was so out of it and weak! And then my partner had to go at 11pm and I had to stay over night alone with my first baby I had no idea what I was doing!! and I have never felt more alone and stressed in my life I hated every second of it and he couldn't come back til 11am the next morning!

And then in the night my baby was really mucus filled and scared me because he started choking and I had to quickly put him on his side and I couldn't feed or change him all night cus my hands had a reaction to the epidural and swelled up and had loss of feeling no grip so this old lady nurse did it for me and she was amazing!!!!! So lovely and sweet! And then my partner came back the next morning and I finally had a shower and we had to stay in the hospital for so long because they wanted to put me on an iron infusion cus I was so low and lost so much blood that I was borderline needing a blood transfusion 😮 and then they ended up deciding I'd be ok with taking the tablets 😑 but I felt so weak and faint because I had apparently lost 700ml of blood is what they said. So we waited hours for nothing! then we came home and I hadn't slept in over 48 hours! And I slept for ages whilst my partner and family looked after the baby and that's about it! It was so traumatising and has defiantly made me think twice about having the four children I wanted 😂 and the after pain from the stitches I can't even believe how painful I found that! I was popping paracetamol like sweets! And the emotions I was so teary and sad when I should have been so happy but nothing had gone how I imagined it going and I had to face so many fears so it was physically and mentally traumatising but I wouldn't have done it differently looking back there's no way I could have got through all that without the epidural! And at least I have an externally healthy little boy and we are now a family 😊

Grey Ethan Holloway

22/12/17

8Ib2oz