Edited again..... They just took my 5 yr old son back for surgery. 16 out of 20 teeth need work. Could be 3/5 hrs of surgery. I have felt with 3 seizures and stitches to his forehead but never surgery as a mother. His bio dad isn’t around do to being in jail for drug trafficking n probation violations. My son is having root canals and crowns along with extractions. I could afford 2grand for white crowns so he will have silver top n bottom from k9 teeth back. His first four top will be extracted. Only teeth that won’t be touch are four bottom front. I am trying to hide the fact I am crying. I have my amazing husband by my side who is adopting my son soon. We spent 2grand on a lawyer so that my ex/sons bio has nothing to do with my son like he basically already been. I spent 5 years with his father from 16 yrs old till my son was 3 yrs old. A relationship that consisted of abuse physical, emotional, and mental. Countless times of drug overdoses in front of my son from heroine. I am have had my share of parting days but when I got pregnant at 17 everything changed for me. His bio on the other had is almost 10 yrs older then me and never wanted help. I took to to rehabs out of pocket. Even his p.o. sent him only to check himself out two days early out of a 10 day stay and od two weeks later after being around his father for 24 hrs. Part of me wishes that my sons bio knew what we are going grew and a part doesn’t want him to know. It’s not like I can call the jail and tell him but it’s really just the emotion part I feel. The man who has walked in to our lives as if he was always apart of it. The man who helped potty train for the second time and is the one who takes him to and from school every day. My husband is the true dad here who gets OUR son up every morning and dress, bathed, teeth brush, bed time stories. Literally everything he does it all he’s the one sitting next to me as we wait for our lil boy to come out of surgery. I am so unbelievably grateful but also upset bc his bio was kinda apart only bc the fact he felt he had to not bc he wanted to. He would disappear for days, weeks even at times months. I would travel 3 hrs to find him at his mothers high with her like recovery was a joke. Once I was able to climb out of the hell hole I was in. I realize life is better even if your alone. For 2 1/2 yrs I worked my bit off to get my own car with nothing to do with my ex. Am I wrong for feeing a bit guilty that his father has no idea that I know of that his son is having surgery right now. He doesn’t even know that our son started school and started riding the bus or anything goin on in my sons life. It’s better that way but I wish things would have turned out differently.

Edit... sorry I got caught up in my emotions his teeth have a calcium deficiency where the enamel is to weak and bacteria basically is eating his teeth. It’s part genetics and part having difficulties when he was cutting teeth and having trouble getting his teeth brushed. I would have to wrap him in a towel and lay him on the floor while straddling him. And would have to have someone else hold his head it was very traumatic for the both of us. With the combo of both the sensitivity is a big part of why he has such issues with teeth brushing. With the calcium deficiency in the enamel it just was like a wild fire. When his teeth started to come in his first was a molar and was grey and then his first two came in same way. The first two dentist weren’t at all worried until 6 months ago so now it’s horrible and here we r!

Another edit since some ppl are not educated or have experienced what I have gone threw my self as a child or MY CHILD! I am trying not to be a bitch but you know what I am done today! I am really not in the mood for smart comments if your a parent maybe you can see this in a bit more of an emotional roller coaster other then dam teeth. My child had 11 crowns and root canals along with 5 teeth pulled and a permanent spacer until his adult teeth come in. He is 5 yrs old yes I feel like shit as a Mom. I am far from perfect I suffered from horrible depression and anxiety from many things but the biggest was the relationship I was stuck in for over 5 yrs with his father. A single mother at 17 and dealing with his fathers drug addiction and controlling behavior. My son was effected developmentally and physically along with emotionally. I tried my best but I guess to some ppl I am not enough what knew I was told by my ex every single day I was shit. It’s ok bc I know who I am now and where I have came from. My son has came a long way from speaking to physical interaction with other ppl then me. It was just me and him until my husband came in to our lives. My ex pushed my family and friends away I wasn’t allowed to talk anyone if I did behind his back he would tie me up to the sink in bathroom and lock the door while I was pregnant. When he was three weeks old he was high on Xanax and heroine and would have black out episodes. That at times I was his main enemy. One day he didn’t want me to leave and held me by my knock and pushed me up against the wall I could no longer touch the floor. He is 285lbs and I tried my best to get free. I eventually passed out and landed on top of my 3 week old son who was next to me in a bouncy seat that was only metal wire frame and fabric. I woke up and my son was luckily not hurt from my body laying on him enough that the bouncer had his butt on the floor. All while his friend stood outside ignoring my cries. Later that night he was arrested for robbery that he doesn’t remember. What I expected from this post was some reassurance from someone. If u knew everything i have been three and what I tried desperately to prevent in a bigger picture you wouldn’t be so quick to judge. For those who are not blaming me or acting like you are better then anyone thank you so very much. My son and I are extremely lucky you know why because we survived. I survived many things like being kicked and bunched in my face in a moving car and pushed out the car while sliding on ice while my new born was in the back seat. I survived being beaten black n blue head to toe. Broken ribs and concussions. My son survived the yelling and screaming from his father. He survived being threw off the sofa and of the bed. He survived being emotionally shit down to the point he wouldn’t talk. I breastfeed my son for over two years while still going to high school then to college bc that was what I knew I could do to give him a safe place where no one could take from us. He was potty trained twice bc the first time he was on his 2nd month accident free and his father was in a rush to his friends withdrawal from dope and my son said he had to pee. We live in the country so I pull over immediately and his father yelled at me and him and was such an ass about a two min potty brake. So much that my son thought he would be in trouble and refused to go pee so he ended up peeing his pants right after and his father made a big fuss at a gas station that embarrassed my son. We have had cops called countless times I tried to get protection order when the stocking started when he got out of jail last year and I was denied. Why bc I had no support no where to run and hide from this man who took my life to the ground. I was young n dumb and ignored my mother and every sign to not continue the relationship. I grew up with out a father the closest I had was my moms forever fiancé who committed suicide after finding out he had terminal brain cancer. I felt like my child needed a dad since went threw life thinking my dad never loved me and was dead after lies from my family came out at 13 yrs old and I met my dad, So please go ahead and tell me what you want but your opinions don’t matter. I simply need to vent n reach out to someone that’s not judgmental. Until you walked in my shoes then maybe your uneducated and ignorant remarks about my parenting and my sons health and development would matter😊