Settle for vanilla ?

Hi! So I’ll get to the point.... my SO isn’t interested in anything to do with sex. We’re in our 30’s. We’ve been together for almost 6 years. Obviously, in the beginning we had lots of sex. (Pretty vanilla, I exposed him to a few things I didn’t know he had never done before until after the fact) That’s what new couples do! We’ve since had 2 kids. We have a pretty busy life in regards to Work, but otherwise were homebodies. I have the highest sex Drive ever! All day, every day, if I could. I’ve always been that way. Other than when we had newborns... but when I was pregnant I wanted it and even soon after giving birth lol! Kids add stress to our relationship and finances do too, but I think that’s ‘normal’ people stress. (In my opinion) haha!

I’m very open sexually. I Have toys, that he’s never really shown interest in to incorporating into sex. I’ve tried lingerie, and being spontaneous ( meeting him on the front porch wearing his housecoat wide open when he got home from Work. It was 11pm. Neighbours lights were out lol) Tried in the kitchen and on the couch while watching tv. I’ve asked him about fantasies he has, he said he has none ?! I asked him what kind of porn he watches... he said none... (smart man, lol) I rephrased and asked what porn he has watched in the past and he was like... “ big boobs and big ass” wtf. I cannot fulfil that unless I can find $20,000 to get that work done 😂

When we do have sex, it’s good. I can’t really complain. I don’t mind vanilla... I just am desperate to have mind blowing, shameful, ‘fucking’ sessions. I’ve told him that.

I don’t think he’s depressed, cheating or gay. I’ve considered maybe shy... he told me his past sexual history has always been pretty vanilla. I’ve also given him directions on how to use things like plugs, beads, etc.

he said bondage scares him 😂

I’ve exhausted everything I can think of.. my google search history can prove that lol!

I think I’ve covered most facts in my post.

I’m at a loss here🤷🏼‍♀️

Do I just ‘settle’ for vanilla or does Anyone else have suggestions/ opinions ?!?!