I have depression

I constantly feel useless and I don’t want to do anything anymore. I’m useless at school and the only place I don’t feel useless is at work but I don’t get recognition for it even though I try so hard. I get drunk to feel stuff but then I feel too much and I end up crying, cutting myself, or something else. I did this last night and cut myself and I work today but everyone’s going to see it and think i’m being dramatic. I want to call out but I can’t. I’m so tired and just want to sleep all weekend