Depression is REAL!!

I really don't even know where to start I'm on the verge of 25 as of next month and I have no kids, I Know I'm lesbian so I put myself in this situation but everytime I try it's nothing. my sister's having kids my friends and I'm stuck being the great auntie or the best godmother, don't get me wrong I love my babies to eternity. I just feel like I have a missing puzzle in me. I want my own I want to experience Everything. I'm tired of people calling me to see if I want their unborn and then turn around and have an abortion. Like people should really be ashamed, I'm not bashing anyone for having an abortion it's just the people I know shouldn't play with my mind or feelings. I get super excited and of course I shop all the time for my nieces and nephews and. anybody I know whose having a baby. I cant seem to find a legitimate donor, it's all just really depressing me and I feel like I don't want to be a freaking women anymore. I may sound crazy or weird but I have nobody else to talk about it to or I don't want to bother anyone. They've heard enough