what's wrong with me?

I've realized that sometimes things that shouldn't turn me on turn me on. like rape or thinking about the person who molested me when I was younger, etc. and I know it's wrong and I hate that I feel turned on down there but I don't know why I get turned on and it bothers me. I know that all these things are wrong and I hate people who hurt others in that way (sexual abuse). what's wrong with me and why does this terrible thing turn me on? I know it's wrong and it's not okay and it hurts just thinking about the person being abused and I can't help but put myself in there shoes and it's painful and it just makes me want to cry but at the same time I notice it turns me on. does anyone else know what I'm talking about? please tell me I'm not a bad person. I hate myself for feeling this way but I don't know how to fix any of this shit.