My husband and I have been together nearly 4 years and have 2 kids (18 months and 3 months) and yet I still feel like we’re not emotionally connected.

I knew he wasn’t a super emotional, sentimental, romantic type from the beginning, but the lack of intimacy is starting to make me miserable and sad.

He used to say “I love you” and ask me to look him in his eyes during sex and now it’s like every time we have sex he just wants to get a BJ, get me off ASAP, and then cum and done. No connection, no talking (he actually complains if I talk) and no cuddling after. I feel used almost.

He doesn’t ever look at me with adoration like the people I’ve been with in the past who loved me. I have to get him to pause his game or the tv if I want to talk and then he just listens and turns it back on.

I don’t know, I just feel really alone and not cherished. I tried telling him all this but his response is always “I obviously love you but if you aren’t happy with me go find someone else”. He refuses to go to counseling and I just dread the thought of this being the rest of my life even though I love him deeply.

I refuse to get divorced, but I just don’t know how I can achieve happiness with someone who doesn’t care about how I feel.

Any advice?