Do I give up on my own eggs?

Question

I’m 43, partner 36 and ttc #1 for almost 3 years. Never been pregnant that I know of before nor even suspected it. I’ve had 4 cycles of <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> (I think - do the first 2 count when they failed to get any mature eggs?) and 5 embryos put back. I respond very poorly to any stim protocol and naturally I’m also DOR. This last cycle was my best yet, with 3 mature eggs that all fertilised and developed to Day 3 and were transferred. BFN again.

The doctor is now strongly in favour of donor eggs- actually he was before, when I started with him on my 3rd cycle. I would be 44 by the time I can do another <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> cycle, and I’ve read all of the literature about the low success rate past 40 and then 44. I know that donor eggs are likely the only way to succeed, but I find it very hard to accept. My partner is very much on the fence about the issue and keeps pointing out that we have improved every cycle.

I’m not expecting anyone to tell me what to do. I’d just like to hear your thoughts.

Answer

If I were you I would not give up. It would be very difficult for me to use someone else’s eggs.  I work at a busy dental practice, I see a lot of patients who have kids after the age of 40.  It just takes one good embryo, have faith

Answer

I'm a very similar situation. 41 in a few weeks. Three cycles of IVF only managed to get one egg which was then transferred and had a miscarriage on 26 December this year. Wanting a baby is an unshakable hope and desire.
They say that Donor eggs Take on many characteristics of the woman carrying the child. Just a thought...
Feeling your pain, 🙏🏻x

Answer

i had a very interesting conversation with a co-worker yesterday.  She told me    having a miscarriage in her mid forties changed her outlook on donor eggs.  She thought she didn't want children until she got pregnant then miscarried and the experience put her into an "abyss." she and her husband decided to go ahead with fertility treatment and they got the financial support of her parents. she said it was the statistics that motivated her to use donor eggs, and she described the process as genuinely enjoyable, much like match.com in which she got to choose her donor. the process worked and they were able to use 2 embryos.  she ended up with twin girls and I think they are some of the most beautiful children I have seen. she is now almost 50 and her girls are 2.5.  I don't think anyone thinks the children are any less "hers" because of the fact that she and her husband used donor eggs. Her story is inspiring to me, I had no idea she went through all this and I work in the same department as this woman. of course you have to decide what's right for you but for many women this can be a very positive path to motherhood.

Answer

in the same boat here. trying to raise money for donor eggs I'm only 40 bit not given any hope from my RE....but still hoping like Hell for a miraculous conception before putting in $30k.  been paralyzed with the chance to spend that and not get pregnant.  then it would be $4000 to try with any left over eggs...that is...if you have any from the donor. the number you get is not guaranteed.  very confusing...but that's what we're going to do. then when that's over hope that my body says...oh ok I can do this on my own now. delusional? Maybe...but women are complicated aren't we?

Answer

If having children is the priority then I would move forward with donor eggs.  I don’t see it as giving up...I see it as taking the path that would get me a child.  I am 41 now and will definitely look at Donor eggs if we pursue a child in the future.  I would be the one carrying him or her and that child would be 100% mine regardless of eggs
Having and raising a child is so very expensive that I personally would want to take the path of least resistance.  We would be doing donor egg IVF in Poland where it is WAY cheaper than the US.  Also since I’m of polish heritage I figure my kid would have some of the same genes.  
Baby dust to you no matter what you decide.  I know it’s a very very tough decision.  If your SO is anything like mine he might just be on the fence so as not to put pressure on you.  Mine was okay with either not having kids at all or donor eggs as long as I was comfortable.  ❤️❤️❤️

Do I give up on my own eggs?

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