Lately i’ve been having this urge to take drugs. I’ve never felt like this before. Its like i just need something to make me not feel anxious. I have schizophrenia and epilepsy and i’ve been feeling so low lately and i started selfharming again (i was clean for 2 months) So I took some of my dads pills it’s some strong painkillers and some benzodiazepines. Also i just want to point out that i do NOT want to kill myself. Im scared that i won’t react well to the pills and people will know what i did. What can i do to calm myself down? im really at rock bottom here and have no idea of what to do with myself.