Please believe me when I say I am blaming the universe for this anger I have towards you. This anger that eats me up inside that I have no idea how to express to you. When you told me you were proud of me, that I was such an amazing and independent daughter, I was proud too. But mom, it is hard. It is hard to keep ends meet in a foreign country where you have to work all the small shitty jobs in order to pay for your tuition fee, your living costs, your food, everything, and still save you from all the family's financial needs. I have given up so much and I do know you, as a mother, have given up much more. But I find myself having to choose between my survival, or your survival and I always, you know this, I will always choose you. It hurts to feel all this guilt inside me because of how angry I am that I always forget my plans, always forget my dreams, because you need me to. I find myself jealous of those around me that are sleeping at night without thinking about whether or not their families have eaten today. You have made me invest in so many of your projects and none of them came through. I have worked so much for a stable life for you but at the end of each month, I still see this: please send us money, we are in all over our heads again. To be honest, I am so tired of the promises you make me: this is the last time, I will give it back to you. And the: if you don't have, can't you borrow from your friends? Mom I cry every single time I talk to you because all I hear is misery, a misery that apparently I cannot change. I tried to explain it to you. You said sorry. Then two days after you said: I really need money again, I can't do this, can you please ask your friends if they can lend you? That money mom, it was my tuition for a year, and now, I am on the verge of being expelled, you know this. I still feel like my problems look smaller to you.