2 years ago I fell for a beautiful amazing girl unfortunately we had a long distance relationship but that didn't stop me from paying for her to come see me she told me she was in love with me the first week I was with her I slowly but surely fell for her overtime she gave me her virginity and claimed to want to have a life together, our relationship was very beautiful at first she did everything for me emotionally I needed someone to do she was supportive of me and constantly in contact with me I am very freaky and very sexual and so is she we had some of the same sexual desires and some not so much the same she was into inflicting pain on me for pleasure example when I orgasmed she would want to punch me in the face she also cared about sex a little bit more than me example we would be arguing on the phone and I would hear her moan and ask her what she was doing and she would be masturbating like what the hell I believe the treatment she gave me was sadistic long story short we were both in open relationships I wasn't completely honest about my sexual activities right off the back and neither was she her lie reflected mine once we got that out of the way we decided the love we had was stronger than the issues. I kept trying to make it up to her I let her bash me and call me names scream at me for hours on the phone for several months she was always getting drunk every single night and saying horrible things to me then the next day telling me she didn't remember doing that and she was sorry she even went as far as giving my information out to other girls she had hooked up with or was talking to and told them I was fair game and even told them personal information about me as well as she gave my number to the girl she was in an open relationship with and she was also texting me bashing me after she tried to come on to me, when I decided I was done dealing with that fuckery she told me she had cancer and that just broke my heart I couldn't turn my back on her I felt bad because I did lie to her even though she told me the same lie I still felt bad because I hurt her and then she had cancer so I decided to keep trying to work things out anyways after going back and forth like that for about 8 more months I decided it was best if we just were not together and she left me alone she was very toxic and was not trying to let anything go, she was not trying to heal or move forward she was getting more verbally abusive telling me she wanted to slit my throat in her fits of Rage she claimed to hack into my phone several different times accusing me of things that were not even true claiming she saw them in my phone even though we weren't together or hardly on speaking terms I had every right if I wanted to talk to someone else to talk to someone else so we stopped talking as much I started ignoring her calls and her text messages and it seem like she was doing the same with me but I still could not talk to her because I loved her well another year later we are still fighting about the same things it's like we can talk and be really cool for a few days and then she wants to be sexual If I decline we start arguing and she brings up the fact that I lied to her before in the past if I agree afterwards I end up feeling used because then she just stops calling me sweet names or saying I love you and doesn't really talk to me and we start arguing I recently told her after not really speaking for a few months kind of I just wanted to work things out I don't want to go back and forth I'm a very positive and healthy person and rational I just want to heal her I want to move forward she told me she was bipolar and I never knew this so I've been trying to deal with her bipolar issues as well and take that into consideration for our previous fights I decided either we work it out or we just stopped completely. She said she wanted to work things out a week ago she called me and asked me why I even bother to text her anymore I was so confused because I just was intimate with her over the phone several days prior and she told me she was in love with me and she loved me NOW she told me she wanted me to leave her alone I told her I was confused why she was saying this and I was over her game that she plays with me I asked her twice are you sure about that and she said yes I'm sure about that don't call me or text me then she said I tend to act on impulse and then was like I got to go hung up in my face I cried my eyes out 4 hours she called back and left some voicemail laughing and talking to someone else I deleted her number all of her pictures and our screenshots and just yesterday she called me after telling me to leave her alone I did not answer My best friend seems to think that she is unhealthy toxic she manipulates me and is messy, to top it off she recently just sent my daughter a package in the mail from her nephew for Christmas in the midst of all this fighting and asked me if I would send her the pendant she bought for me because she had chains at Tiffany's waiting to be picked up she would then send it back to me she's a very confusing person I have never let another human being talk to me the way I let her talk to me or treat me I've always been very good with my own personal boundaries and had very high self respect after being with her I feel like I fell into a black hole and now I've come out of it and I'm completely drenched in shit an I just want to shower wash it all away she even made me feel like taking my own life once or twice with the hurtful things she said to me it's really sad I even told her that...all I wanted to do was love this girl and I feel like all she wants to do is hurt me