When I was 16 I was with a boy a year older than me, he told me he loved me. We dated for a year and his parents loved me but my parents did not like him very much. His parents invited him and I on a weekend trip to a waterpark hotel near Philadelphia with them. They gave us money to play games and took us out to dinner and played in the pool with us. He got me to go on my first water slide, I never used to like them because they’re dark and i’m scared of going under water. We had sex while his parents were out and did not use protection. I thought we were invincible. I ended up pregnant, he passed out when he saw the test was positive. He acted happy at first, we were going to keep the baby. He manipulated me into getting an abortion, saying all the right things to trick me into taking my baby away. He was abusive the whole relationship. He hacked my social media profiles, checked my snapchat constantly, my instagram, and my facebook. He hit me. He managed to convince me to get an abortion. On the way home afterwards the person in front of us hit a baby deer and I saw that as a sign from God that I had made a mistake. I sobbed for hours afterwards and bled so much I almost had to go to the hospital. I was 8 weeks. That was two years ago. To this day I feel empty. I miss my baby. I have baby fever, even though I am so young. I want a baby and do not know what to do with myself. My boyfriend is 27 while I’m 18 and he doesn’t want kids anytime soon. My question is, does anyone have any ideas on how to cope with all these feelings? I’m so lost and feel bad venting to my boyfriend about these things because I don’t want him to think i’m trying to have a baby with him right now. Someone help me please.

Only positive comments only, I don’t need any comments about abortion being wrong because I already know that what I did was wrong.