A letter to the guy who temporarily took away my dignity
You asked me and I said no
You said come on I'll wear a condom
I said no
You tried to touch me so I rolled over on my stomach
I cross my legs thinking you can't rape me then
Of course I was wrong
You told me to just let you in
I said NO again
It didn't matter
You were 21 and drinking whiskey
I was a 17 year old girl
Who didn't understand why you were doing this to me.
It was like a transe
I went to another place
I don't remember you taking the condom off just you telling me to say your name
I yelled at you NICK STOP!
And you thought it was great
All of a sudden I feel gross stuff coming out of you
And into me.
Now almost 7 years later
All this "me too" stuff is getting to me.
I've done everything I can to forget about what you did to me.
All these stories everywhere makes me want to scream.
Yes me too, but I never found my voice
To rise up against you
So no one's knows
Really, unless I am close with them
I keep it to myself
It's something I've taken drugs prescribed and unprescribed just to try to forget
Drank and took them maybe that would help
But Of course it never did
Then the me too came out and I feel horrible again
Did you do it to another girl?
Is there someone else who is suffering from what you did to them like you did to me?
I tried to report it, went to my school therapist
But the weeks before rumors of girls lying about being raped clouded her judgement
Telling me lying about rape is wrong.
Every fear about never having someone believe me.
I stayed quiet long enough
I'm gaining my voice
Maybe that's what I need to completely heal
It starts with this
My vow to listen to those who reach out to me
In not ready for the people around me to know
Not even my parents or my siblings know
Some day I'll be strong enough as all those girls I've been seeing on tv
I'll gain it some day just you see...
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.