You asked me and I said no

You said come on I'll wear a condom

I said no

You tried to touch me so I rolled over on my stomach

I cross my legs thinking you can't rape me then

Of course I was wrong

You told me to just let you in

I said NO again

It didn't matter

You were 21 and drinking whiskey

I was a 17 year old girl

Who didn't understand why you were doing this to me.

It was like a transe

I went to another place

I don't remember you taking the condom off just you telling me to say your name

I yelled at you NICK STOP!

And you thought it was great

All of a sudden I feel gross stuff coming out of you

And into me.

Now almost 7 years later

All this "me too" stuff is getting to me.

I've done everything I can to forget about what you did to me.

All these stories everywhere makes me want to scream.

Yes me too, but I never found my voice

To rise up against you

So no one's knows

Really, unless I am close with them

I keep it to myself

It's something I've taken drugs prescribed and unprescribed just to try to forget

Drank and took them maybe that would help

But Of course it never did

Then the me too came out and I feel horrible again

Did you do it to another girl?

Is there someone else who is suffering from what you did to them like you did to me?

I tried to report it, went to my school therapist

But the weeks before rumors of girls lying about being raped clouded her judgement

Telling me lying about rape is wrong.

Every fear about never having someone believe  me.

I stayed quiet long enough

I'm gaining my voice

Maybe that's what I need to completely heal

It starts with this

My vow to listen to those who reach out to me

In not ready for the people around me to know

Not even my parents or my siblings know

Some day I'll be strong enough as all those girls I've been seeing on tv

I'll gain it some day just you see...