I'm too fat for my boyfriend?

Question

My boyfriend and I have an amazing relationship,we are totally in love and were basically on cloud nine. I was a size 6 when we met, and very very skinny and dainty. Fast forward 7 years I'm nearly a size 20. He says he loves me as I am but I've noticed on his Instagram he follows lots of models and nude profiles, I'm not bothered as I watch porn sometimes myself but I followed some of the profiles he follows and the all have one thing in common... pretty skinny blonde...which I once was. I know I'm reading to much into it but it makes me feel down. We used to have sex 4/5 times a week when I was a size 14 but now I'm bigger he says "it's not all about sex you know" I don't think he's cheating but it puts my confidence down a lot. I'm trying to lose weight for myself not just for him but I constantly feel like I'm competing with my old self and thinking that he loved and found her more sexy😔 advice?

Answer

if you are trying to loose weight have fun doing so. in my area there is this women's gym where they have fitness boot camp, pole dancing class, twerking class, all kinds of stuff to do, with women who are also trying to loose weight too! it's fun, exciting, new, and even leaves you feeling sexy and confident after your workout. look up a womens gym in your hometown. You got this 👌👌👌

Answer

All I can tell u Is to either find a way to be happy with yourself and gain self confidence OR get back in shape to better how u feel about yourself .

Answer

Lose weight then. To me, a huge weight gain like that would be at least a VERY serious problem, if not a dealbreaker.

Answer

To the person who said it a very big deal breaker , I haven't gained The weight over night it's been the course of 7 YEARS. That's a very long time. I am trying to lose weight as stated. I'm not being rude but I asked for advice not to be told it's a deal breaker of being a large lady in a loving relationship. Seems you care about looks only

Answer

Whaaaaa! Your story sounds pretty similar to mine. When me and my husband got together I was a size 6 and I loved it! Now eight years and two kids later I am a size 18. And up until recently I felt like I was just a body there to satisfy him and didn't understand why he was pretending to like being in bed with me. I thought I wasn't sexually attractive enough to keep him truly happy in the bedroom. Bare with me for a moment, and I only bring it up because you mentioned you watch porn occasionally, watch more porn! I'm serious! Explore yourself in private to reconnect with your sexuality. Watch stuff you wouldn't typically pick, find out what unexpectedly gets you going. I did this for a month, as per my therapist recommendation. After becoming that intimate with your self you start to notice what you like about your self. Even more those negatives like cellulite, and rolls become the positive body features that makes you who you are. Get your self all dolled up for nothing, put on your best lingerie set and hop in bed by your self and start snapping selfies. Keep the ones you love for two reasons 1.)reassurance that you are a QUEEN and beautiful and you DO deserve every ounce of love your man gives you. And 2.) slip him one every now and then just to let him know you are thinking about him. I also have an audible book I started listening to called "Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life.
 My husband actually told me the Me that  takes charge and tells him what to do and what not to do is the biggest turn on he's ever had.

Answer

I know it’s tough, but try not to hold your boyfriend responsible for how you feel about yourself. He says he loves you. He would probably be looking at those pictures whether you were skinny or not. Sex in relationships goes through phases where it dwindles, and that’s in most relationships at some point or another. So if I were you, I would do something about your feelings toward yourself and work on being in a body that feels comfortable to you. If being the size you are is not comfortable for you, and is causing these insecurities, then what you need to do for yourself is take steps to transform in multiple ways. That always begins with being kinder to yourself. You don’t need to be so critical of yourself. Instead of being critical, give yourself some love instead. Say some kind words to that body of yours. It deserves it… I mean, it’s been carrying you all around this life in order for you to experience it, that’s one thing that no matter what size you are, you can be grateful for.

I'm too fat for my boyfriend?

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