my mom met a guy and this guy had a son his age was 16 I was 13 and we starting living together and he started flirting with me and calling me beautiful and lately I had been feeling broken I had recently been raped and I felt so ugly and disgusting that I just wanted to feel beautiful and loved and so I gave him to him we did some sexual things but I didn't want to loose my virginity just yet but I felt so stupid because all along he had been raping me anally I had begged him to stop I told him I didn't want it . I tried breaking up with him lots of times but he was always say baby I'm so sorry I love you and your just so fine that I want you or he'd say well you live here Now and I can go tell your mommy about all the things we did or no one else will want a dirty little nasty slut like you I'm all you got and so basically I just blocked it out over time and disappeared into my own little world and every other time he made me feel so loved and beautiful he gave me a ring I was in love. with the good thing about him but he would abuse me and rape me and all I wanted was love instead his dad and my mom broke up . he left me without even a word he went to Virginia to live with his mom and I heard out a few weeks lately after trying to contact him that he was expecting a baby from a girl he had been talking to for months and it almost broke me.I put everything that I had into him to love him and please before you judge me know my life I was abused by my exstep dad from the time in was 4 until I was 12 and so abuse was nothing new to me but I just wanted to feel loved and cared for and beautiful and after what he did to me I tried to kill myself and once I almost succeeded and my mom almost had me admitted to mountain view I faked a smile and laugh just to get me home and now I'm so fake I don't even know who I am anymore I felt like he broke me and still to this day I think he has maybe one day I'll be ok but today just isn't one of those days