Can’t take to my girlfriends

I still fuck my baby daddy. But I can’t tell my friends because they will judge me so hard core! Like we don’t do it a lot but we broke up in July 2017 and we have had sex like 6 times so far. And I just can’t tell them because they won’t understand ..... I’m so self conscious and feel like I’ll never be able to get anyone else... and I hate talking to people about it because people with just say shit that they think will make me feel better like girl u can get someone so much better or girl u deserve so much better and those words just make me feel worse beached I my self think I can’t because I’m fat and not that attractive and my personality isn’t that great. :( and I just ramble and then I go from one thing to the other an nothing makes sense and shit and I hate myself ! Period.