Going drug free! 😵 help

I need advice. I'm going to try drug free for my second baby's birth. I had an epidural, iv, and ended in a c section. It was not my idea of a good birth, or even an ok one. I was so loopy and in pain I didn't see my baby until hours after. I didn't get to hold him or do skin to skin. I want so much to have a normal birth! And from what I know, epidurals can slow labor. My problem last time was it slowed, and stalled.

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I don't want drug free because I think badly on anyone who has it.

I don't want drug free to get the "medal"

I think epidurals are amazing for the comfort they give to many many women.

So don't comment if you're going to put me down for wanting this. 👍

I just don't want to do anything that will compromise my vbac. I want the best shot possible. I have a decent pain tolerance but back labor and pitocin was so extreme it makes me afraid..

Someone with sage advice please help me!