I moved into a much safer and loving environment on Jan 1st 2018. I dont have to worry about bills, being kicked out, etc. I had no depression or anxiety up until yesterday. I stopped taking my pills when I moved here, and I got prescribed new ones. I started taking those but when I do I can’t sleep... I do have very lucid nightmares on a daily bases but when I take the medicine and do eventually fall asleep i don’t have them. But that’s besides the point. I applied at a grocery store near me. They want to hire me for the bakery... I have no experience in that so my anxiety is telling me that I shouldn’t work there, and my motivation is lowering day by day. I get so angry at times, like when I went to get jeans (because I only have one pair and they ripped) they didnt have any that are my style (skinny jeans) or any I could wear to work w out being ugly (stupid flowers or patches) so I was so frustrated to the point I wanted to cry. Now I’m laying in bed with a horrible headache, my body is super hot and I’m just pissed and depressed for no reason. We (as in my dad and step mom) are going to OKC (which is about 2 hours from the house) to see my sisters. I love my sisters but I really just want to stay home. I have no motivation to get up in the morning and wash my clothes and get ready. But I also know I will regret not going then I will have a full blown melt down to the point of cry screaming. I think a lot of this has arose from me not getting a BFP on my pregnancy tests. I have no explanation for what I have been feeling physical wise lately. And if I were pregnant (according to a <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.nurture">pregnancy app</a>) I would be 3 weeks 5 days along. I just need some kind words and support right now. Xoxo, Kait.