This was taken back in may and i posted it asking if it looked alright and got positive comments but I still chickened out and deleted it because I felt that horrible about myself.

I would die before I had anyone else take a picture of me in it. I LOVED the swim suit, I HATED my body. I was hiding in our tent (camping trip) and feeling bad that I had actually gone to swim for like 3 minutes in front of people in just this alone.

I was cleaning out pictures on my phone because I was running out of storage and I saw this and I'm like.. god I give SO much control to the negative part of me that tells me I'm not good enough or pretty enough, so much that I can't even just go swimming with family and enjoy trips. That ends now.

Fuck that negative part of me. I'm going to show my swim suits off when I feel like it and have fun this summer. I'm done. Hope you enjoy how blindingly pale I am lmao.

Trigger warning *****

From 13-17 i was binging and purging. I would make myself sick after meals. I was abusing laxatives. I was going days without food until I would pass out and have to force myself to eat to raise my blood sugar.

I am not doing any of that anymore, I haven't done any of that in years. its been a journey to learn to accept myself. I can accept the body I have, the next part will be showing more of it instead of hiding like I have something to be ashamed of because I don't. My body is healthy. I will live to see my hair turn gray. Fight me.