⚠️ Possible trigger warning ⚠️

I used to cut myself from the age 14-18.

When I first started cutting myself, I used to do it everyday. I broke a razor and used the fine blades. My cuts weren’t deep but I would cut like my life depended on it. Every night before I’d go to bed, I’d hide under the covers and cut my right wrist, front and back. Then when I was finished, I’d wrap my wrist in baby wipes. My mom started noticing the bloody tissues but she convinced herself that i was getting bloody noses every night. Even though those cuts were minor, the scars still remain.

As I got older, I started cutting myself less but deeper and started harming myself in other ways. One time, I even broke a glass cup just to cut myself. Then there was another time where I burned a cigarette out on my right wrist. Along with many incidents of me punching walls repeatedly until my hand was bruised enough. Then one time I took only five pain killers because I just wanted to fall asleep for a while.

But after that, whenever I’d feel really low (I mean really, really low), I’d take a kitchen knife and cut myself in the same spot over and over until I was satisfied with how deep it was. I have eight scars on my left forearm now and minor scratches/scars on my right wrist.

It’s been a few months since I cut my wrist, again, and honestly, I’m so tempted to do it again.