Drug withdrawal phase
Me and my boyfriend are like not speaking. I am trying to give him the space that he wants. He said he doesn’t want to see me 24/7 he just wanted to take today to chill alone. Long story short I went over anyway cause I was in the area and he was being a dick. Like he didn’t even kiss me. So when I left I was like wow I fucked up. I should’ve just given him today to chill alone. Like I noticed my presence wasn’t wanted at all. But since I can only fix the future I am gonna give him space for like a week. But like it is really hard because we do work together. He’s my manager and like I have to talk to him. So at work I’ll act normal like always but I’m gonna lay back on the girlfriend part. It’s kinda just hard for me because like I don’t feel the need to take a break from him ever you know. And we already haven’t had sex in like a week and my now my period is just gonna make it longer. I don’t have anyone to talk to and it’s only been a few hours and I wanna talk to him so badly. I feel like I’m obsessed lol. Like he’s a drug. I’m going threw withdrawals and I’m a mess. A week from today will be our nine months. I’ve never been in a relationship that lasted this long before. I guess it’s cause the other guys thought I was too crazy. I love him so much guys. And I know I turned him all the way off by not leaving him alone today. If I could take it back I would because I don’t want anything to get in the way of our relationship. But at the same time while I really want this relationship to last... I kinda want it to end. Like I love him I do. So much. But he doesn’t believe in marriage. And we are young still but what’s the point in wasting time?! Like I’ve always dreamed of getting married to the man I loved someday. But with this it’s like there’s no prize at the end of the race. But I don’t want to be with anyone else. I can’t see myself with a different man. So I’m conflicted. I’m just gonna try and keep myself busy this week and I should be good. He could clear his mind and I could clear mine I guess.