Depressed but don’t know why

I sometimes get depressed about things that happen, I’ve always had bad anxiety. All day today I have felt empty and not like myself for no reason. I have a good life but I can’t even force a smile. I feel super tired, empty, without emotion, and ansy. Like i feel like I’m in the wrong body and I feel jittery and like I can’t stay still but at the same time have no energy or motivation to move. A person i know asked me why i hate myself and I didn’t know how to reply cause I don’t know why, i just don’t feel right. They asked if I needed to talk and I just replied nope, I’m just having a bad day and i’m going to go to bed early and try to sleep it off. The thing is that once I talk to someone about it my anxiety gets worse, my heart starts pounding, i get dry mouth and I feel way worse and never sleep. I can’t get it off my mind what they are thinking about right now and if I worried them. I don’t feel like myself and she wants to know if i want to talk to her privately but i have no idea how to respond because nothing can help. Is it normal to feel like this?