paranoid

i suffer with depression anxiety, schizo and adhd (diagnosed) its been really hard recently for me since i have nothing or any like medication to deal with this ive been so paranoid recently and suicidal as well i dont know how to deal with it anymore im seeing things and cant sleep at all i always feel like something is watching me i was raped at a yound age and flashbacks keep coming and coming im so scared right now and really feel like just giving up. honestly just giving everything up.