I know that I may sound a bit clichè with this. But I’ve always been the type of girl who would say that “I don’t need a man to make me happy, I’m happy with myself.”. I’ve always didn’t focus as much on relationships that other girls have. Instead I focused on my hobbies, academics and just enjoying being a teenager.

But recently I’ve started noticing something. I’ve always seen couples around my school and of course they were always lovey dovey with one another. But I never really paid attention to it till now.

The truth is that I do want a relationship but every time it happens it’s the same thing over and over again. The guy just wants me for my body. Not my personality just the way my body is shaped and curved. They don’t want the real me, just my appearance.

I know many people say that the right guy will come but how would you feel everyday seeing your friends happy with someone. I see people who are with someone who makes the happy, smile, laugh, feel loved. Then there’s me, who is just left with bad memories from bad relationships. My friends say that God, is planning someone for me. Someone who will love me for my flaws, my personality and no just my body.

I don’t know why I can’t find someone who wants to text me when they see I’m sad, someone who wants to hold my hand and tell me everything’s going to be okay. Someone who I can count on. Someone who I can trust. Someone who will love me, for me.

But it just hurts you know? Seeing everyone happy with someone ask it just makes you think is there really someone out there for me? I don’t understand why someone just wants to be with me because of my looks. They just want the girl they see but not actually her. Just the skin she wears. Why is everyone happy with someone else? Why can’t I just find someone who loves me, for me?