My boyfriend of 4 years told me 4 days ago how we are perfect together but I am not the kind of person he wants to marry. He told me that he didn't love me as deeply as I did. So it was best that we parted ways. We are neighbours so I might accidentally run into him any day (haven't yet) and the thought scares me. He was my first kiss and my first love. I had no idea how to deal with the rush of feelings I am having so I chose to read many articles about breakups online. They all talk about keeping your integrity and acting happy. But the thought of never having him as my best friend and lover ever again is making me so weak. I will never get to be my same vulnerable self with him and I won't ever be his confidante any more. I've had to let go of people I've been friends with for a decade but it seemed a lot easier because he was by my side. I miss him so much.