I miscarried about a year and a half ago. I had been in college for less than a month before it happened, which caused me to drop out and fall into a depression that I’m still trying to get out of. I think it’s the guilt because I didn’t know I was pregnant and I went cliff jumping even though everything in me said I shouldn’t. Right now I’m battling my suicidal thoughts more than ever because my twin sister just found out she was pregnant. I’m hoping it’s a healthy pregnancy despite how jealous and sad I feel that she has what I want. When my dad found out I miscarried he called me a whore and told me I was stupid for being irresponsible. When my sister told him she was pregnant he embraced it and is excited to have a grandchild. I have no Idea what to do. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t figure out how in the hell to survive this. I can’t afford therapy but I can’t keep feeling like this, it’s not healthy. If anybody has any advice as to how they coped with a miscarriage or how you push your self to get better I’d really appreciate it. Thank you for letting me vent I don’t know where else to go