Husbands family drives us nuts

Both of us have been feeling more and more irritated lately and not sure what to do.

I’ll try and keep this short as possible but just looking for some advice.

Basically my husband and i have been together for 6 years, married for 1.5. His parents are divorced and both remarried. We get along great with his dad and step mom. The real problem is his mom who has never liked me or welcomed me into this family.. in the beginning she told my husband I am too quiet, and that I don’t fit in. He told her me being quiet was one thing he loves because his whole family is extremely loud.

Basically his mom and step dad are complete party animals, they go out partying every single night. His brothers have both been with their girlfriends for less than two years, and have both gotten their girlfriends pregnant within a couple months of dating each other. One of the brothers and girlfriends smoke weed every day, don’t have jobs and are basically homeless because they get evicted wherever they try to live from not paying rent. This seems to be the norm in his family.. partying, not having a plan, and just taking life as it comes. From what my husband has told me, that’s how he was raised by her.. thankfully he seems to fall under the responsible side that he gets from his dad. We are both extremely financially stable, we have great jobs, have taken life slow and seem to be the only ones who have their stuff together and are responsible. So with that being said, his mom rarely ever talks to us. We live 15 minute away from her, yet she never calls us, never tries to see us... and when she does, it’s super last minute and when we say we are busy she completely freaks out and blames us for not having a relationship. The times we have tried to see her.. always fails. She will cancel last minute or come up with something. Seeing each other never seems to work because she does everything spur of the moment, while we always have everything planned out.

Here’s what really gets us though... on Facebook we constantly see how she is with his two brothers and their girlfriends. They all seem to be best friends. They tag each other in movie nights, going out to drink, going on family days to festivals and what not. We are never invited. We’ll get invited to go over for dinner here and there, but like I said it’s always last minute like the day of. His family always interrupts us when we do see them, no one ever asks how we are, no one seems to be interested and they all just see us sometimes because they have to. They all give us a hard time because we don’t have kids yet, they make comments about how it’s been 6 years of us sleeping in and traveling and we need to start a family already. It’s annoying. Also, my husband has gained maybe 20-30 pounds in the past few years and they all make sure to tell him he’s getting fat. All the while they are all constantly drunk and or high.

My question is, what to do? We are tired of the comments, tired of getting the blame for never seeing them, and basically we both just don’t fit in so I guess she was right lol.

I feel like at this point we are super over it and don’t even have an interest in seeing them anymore. But that’s not really an option and I know how badly my husband wants a real relationship with them.. but he’ll be the first to bring up not wanting to be around them and has said when we do have kids he doesn’t want them around that type of environment....

Anyone else have in law issues? Sorry this was so long!