Over the winter break, my seemingly healthy grandpa had a heart attack, that later turned into him having a bad case of pneumonia. He has been in the hospital for about 2 weeks now, and it has not gotten better. But other than that, he would get up from time to time & was good.

This morning I got a text while I was at my college saying he’s not doing well. I was surprised, as my family visited the night before & he was good. I dropped everything, as did my family, & drove over there. He’s now in the icu with a breathing machine. I’ve never had to deal with something like this before in my 21 years, so it’s a shocker for me. He held my hand, opened his eyes, & was nodding to simple questions I asked him. What’s also hard is that my grandma is very very optimistic that he’s okay. That he just needs help breathing. I feel devastated for her. It happened so fast no one can grasp it. We are somewhat hopeful that he might become healthier, but as for now we are trying to prepare for the worst. It’s just that I don’t know how.

I’m scared that he might be scared, even though I think he’s the toughest man in the world. I’m worried he’s in pain (even though he said he was not). I don’t understand how he could have gotten sick over the night. I don’t want him to leave. & I don’t want him to feel lonely or go in pain.

I’ve been crying since I heard the news, & even more after visiting him. How do you handle this? We were so close...helped raise me, I’ve visited him everyday, he calls me his baby, & he’s been to every single important event in my life. I can’t seem to stop tearing up. I know it’s a part of life but it’s hard. Any advice?

UPDATE: So things seemed to get a little worse today. He’s now completely sedated & his kidneys were starting to fail. They’re trying to give him meds for it & it’s slowly improving. But his other organs might be failing...i talked to him & he kept moving his mouth a little after everything I would tell him. I know he can still hear me & knows we are there for him. I feel more at ease today, but it’s still hard. My grandma is still in denial that this is happening, & still continues to think he’ll improve, but most of us are unsure. Thank you for the comments ♥️