Not having sex when married bc your in pain and you both have serious anxiety issues...

so, for the past month or so, my husband and I have not been having sex regularly. we will have sex maybe once a month... but that's only if his blood pressure and anxiety levels are down and my pain is not as bad. I have an appointment on March 1st with an OBGYN to see if I have PCOS and endometriosis...

I have had it before and I'm having a lot of the same symptoms I did then.

there are times when I have the urge to be intimate but most of the time him and I will just resort to pleasuring ourselves because it is either too painful for me or his adrenaline gets too high during sex and he will have a panic attack so it's not pleasurable for him.....

my point in saying all this is Valentine's Day is coming up... It will be the first Valentine's Day that we have been married and having sex together. I would love to do something very romantic for him, I have even bought sexy black lingerie.

I never wear lingerie, I'm very uncomfortable with my body, but I wanted to surprise him. My issue is, if I do all this and it puts him on the spot and pressures him when he doesn't feel up to it or if it gets too Valentine's Day and I am in pain and he expect something but I can't deliver. Any suggestions for any of these topics would be helpful.

thanks