prayers needed

we lost our babies at 12w3d, found out there were two the same time we were told no heart beat. it's been a month since our angels left us, and today I've felt like I've been under water all day. I'm mad at God on my bad days and I praise Him on my good days. all we wanted was to have a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby when the baby arrived, or babies providing we were having twins. I just don't know what to do, I want another pregnancy and I want a happy healthy rainbow baby. is that too much to ask?