The worst things about miscarriage

I just found out yesterday at an ultrasound appointment. No heartbeat at 8 weeks..

- Still having your baby inside of you knowing it isn’t growing

- Wanting the process to happen soon but also not wanting the baby to leave you

- Throwing up because your body still thinks it’s pregnant

- Coming home to packages you ordered before you knew the heart stopped

- Finding a bump picture on your computer knowing you won’t be taking any more

- Rewatching the video of when you told your husband

- Re-downloading the fertility app you didn’t think you needed anymore

- Rubbing the belly you swore was getting bigger realizing it really wasn’t

- Talking to the onesie you bought when you found out, shushing it and telling it that it’s okay

- Thinking every Wednesday you would have been ___ weeks

- Thinking “the last time I did this I was pregnant” with every single thing you do. The last time I watched this show... the last time I saw this client.. the last time I wore this top.. the last time I went to bed..