Depression

I always imagine myself in better future situations. It doesn’t really have to be about being famous or being rich. Mostly I find myself imagining a future where I’m much older and much happier and much more comfortable. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I realized that what I was doing is known as Maladaptive Daydreaming. Ever since then I’ve tried to stop but I find myself doing it when real life gets too stressful or boring. It became a way for me to escape into this whole other world where I’m in charge and nothing goes wrong and I am happy in the end.

I still tried to restrain from daydreaming m. It wasn’t until my phone was out of storage that I realized that I had replaced Maladaptive daydreaming with social media and a multitude of games. I didn’t even realize that I had so many games on my phone and after i realized this it occurred to me that these games where a way for me to distract myself.

These days, the games and daydreaming aren’t enough anymore and i find myself looking for another escape except i don’t know where to find it. My days are long and empty and i feel like I’m drowning and i can’t get out. I feel trapped in my choices. From my school to my career choice.

I just wish there was a way for me to feel better.