I’m gonna get judged for this but I need to tell someone

I will get judged no end, hence why this is anon 😔

I’m 11 days postpartum, and after a really sh*t delivery I feel like a failure, a failed induction, 3 failed epidurals and c section. I struggled to conceive in the first place... I don’t feel like my body has done what it’s supposed to, so struggling to conceive, didn’t go into labour by myself and couldn’t even deliver naturally. He won’t even latch onto me so I can’t even breastfeed!

So anyway, I come home with baby... I’m sore as hell even now still, I don’t feel remotely human and I’m shattered, my partner hasn’t slept either yet is still coping better than I am.

I’m currently sitting writing this in tears as my baby is in front of me crying... I don’t even know what for... he’s got a clean nappy on, he’s fed and winded... he’s had cuddles but is still crying. I’m exhausted, so the reason I’ll get judged if not already. I’m considering adoption, I’m at my wits end with him. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t bond with him, I’m a failure as a mother, as a woman and as a fiancé to a beautiful man who’s been there for me for the last 3 weeks through everything!

I so want to throw the towel in right now, I don’t know what to do 😭 I don’t know what I want out of this post, just a rant I suppose... thanks for reading