10 dpo and feeling hopeless

I am 10dpo, AF is due on 2/14. last few cycles, I have started spotting 5 days before AF is due, thought for sure it was IB and then boom, AF shows her ugly face. this month, however, no spotting yet. my back is bothering me, I keep getting very slight twinges in my lower abdomen, minimal cramping and sometimes I feel like my breasts are sore but then other times they are not. I've taken hpt which have all been BFN but I rationalize that it's still early. literally everyone around me is getting pregnant, one friend got pregnant on bc having sex with her long distance bf every other weekend. I use OPKs, preseed and we BD'd all my fertile days except for 1. I know I'm not out till I'm out but it's so devastating every single month when AF arrives. i just know deep down that i am out this month. anyone else feeling this way?