For the longest time in my life I've been anxious and depressed. As a child, I was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. And since then I knew I wasn't okay. To this day I'm not okay. I've become worse. Growing up, I was easily anxious and afraid of everything. I use to talk to myself, and I still do today... I never liked being around adults. I never liked talking to people. I'm an introvert, antisocial. Both. I had trouble trying new things..I still have trouble with that. I can't do things on my own, I need someone I trust the most to be there. I remember as a child, I refused to participate the hokey pokey for the longest time during my childhood years. I felt so uncomfortable and miserable just having to obey what a song told me to do. I didn't like it. I can say that I wouldn't obey people, i did things my own way...I had little trust as a kid. As I grew older depression came to me and hit me like a truck. Often thought about suicide and how useless I was to everyone. Life decided to never go my way that I just always wanted to just end it. Anxiety gotten worse as I grew. As I entered high school I just couldn't do ANYTHING alone. I'm a senior now and nothing...has changed. In fact I feel worse about myself. I'm always stressed, sad, and anxious. Currently, I've been worse. I've been worried, depressed and stressed. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I can't believe anyone who has been trying to help me for the past week or two..I think that everyone is lying to me or that whatever people say isn't true. I'm not sure what's going on with me but I'm hating myself more and more everyday. I don't know. I want all of this to end, even myself. I'm so unhappy and scared and miserable. There's so much more to explain about myself, my struggles and why I feel this way...I'll never know when to reveal myself to feel at ease. I wish i was normal...