spill bill

It is long overdue, but i gotta spill... cheesy but what eves. It's been officially 6 months since me and my SO have been not trying not preventing. its like I want a baby and I want it now. Me and my SO have seen Hell. like let it rain and pour. This child would be our hope. our created love and most importantly our family and future. Before my love wouldn't mind. Since the MC 2 years ago my inner self hasnt been ok. i feel senile almost all cycles i think of a time when there is a baby. in me.My SO gets tired, with me and these feelings. I am just waiting for our insurance to be reinstated, so we can go to the doctor. Surprisingly my SO thinks he is the one with the problem. But that is how our love works we both give each other support and talk to each other knowing that. I know i am not alone with my thoughts and feelings. He always praises me with love and Admiration.How do i get these traumatozed thoughts of an MC i had 2 yeasr ago go especially if i want a new baby. this cpuld possibly atop me. Help