I didn't want to admit to myself that my father is a racist and a misogynist for so long, and now that it's hit me, I don't know what to do. And frankly, I'm afraid to do anything at all.

I recently, randomly met Ted Danson, and a few moments ago, we were talking about Ted Danson and literally, seriously no exaggeration, in a matter of 1 minute it went to him objectifying women and being totally dehumanizing, as well as racist. We were briefly talking about how Ted Danson did blackface apparently in a skit with Whoopi a few decades ago. I was asking questions because I didn't know this and was confused since I know that Whoopi is a social justice activist. Then it immediately went to him saying how she used to be thinner when they were together,  but he doesn't think she was ever attractive. Next, he suddenly brought up Halley Berry and said quote "she's very pretty for a black woman". I was trying to wrap my head around those piercing words..."for a black woman". But I didn't have a chance to even breathe before it escalated. The last thing he said to me was "most attractive black women have white features". I was appalled and walked out of the room. 

I am so disgusted. And yet I'm not surprised at all. It's very dehumanizing for me to have to always listen to him objectifying women and talking about their looks as if it is inherently equal to their worth. Now, I don't usually throw the word "racist" around. However, that is one of the worst things I've had to sit through. I wanted to kick him right in his face. Utterly disgusting. My dad has major health issues and doctors said he wouldn't make it past year 2005. This might sound awful and maybe it's out of spite and I'll regret saying it someday, but if he isn't around anymore when I have children, I'll be totally fine with it. In fact, I think it will be better that way. I don't know why I've been denying who he is for so long. He's white and my 96 yr old grandmother is blatantly racist, but he's married to my mother who is 100% Mexican, second generation American. I guess the fact that he married her and she married him has always left me hoping that he's a good person in that regard. 

I absolutely think that 100% African women are beautiful. Every. Woman. Is. Beautiful. and I'm sick of having to hear about  some patriarchal designed scale of attractiveness any time a woman is mentioned. I am sick of constantly having this idea that some women are not good enough based on their looks beaten into me so often. My father is a racist. He is a misogynist. I am very hurt. I am utterly disgusted. And I don't know what to do. My boyfriend and I live with my parents and the truth is that I'm scared of my father. I sent him a letter once about how his objectification of women has hurt me from childhood through adulthood and it didn't end well. My mother didn't even care. I feel like he has this invisible power over me, that keeps me from telling him when to shut up when he's out of line. I feel like I'm forced to listen to those things and just walk away as soon as possible. How would y'all have handled this? How can I be more strong than this?