TTC Letdown

Raquel • 3️⃣1️⃣ ttc baby #1 for a little over 6 years. 3️⃣2️⃣ ...still ttc for #1 for a little over 7 years 3️⃣3️⃣...

I just need to vent. I’m almost 31 and I’ve been with my bf for going on 8 years. In our entire relationship we never used protection and thus have also never conceived. I feel, I have done everything I possible can to be tested/diagnosed what have you with fertility problems by my primary and as of very recent my OB/GYN. My partner, he’s done a sperm analysis-which came back “fine” I’ve been taking OTC fertility herbal supplements, using PreSeed, & OPK’s and surprising I had a dark surge today and luck would have it that my trucker bf was going to be back home early tonight and was aware of my positive ovulation test. Needless to say, we tried doing the deed and it just wasn’t happening-so it didn’t. It led to him & I feeling types of ways and me getting so frustrated that it made me say “I’m going to miss my window” & “why does this have to be so f’n hard” I couldn’t help it, I wasn’t trying to put the blame on him, make him feel anything but I am tired. I am more than wore out. I have VERY irregular periods and that just adds to the frustration because I don’t ovulate or menstruate like “normal” people. I feel like I always have to jump through hoops. I am depleted. I’m running out of time, and no matter how much I hope, pray, speak it to the universe....nothing. I don’t know how much more I can keep doing this...but what choice do I have.